Does Your Child Become Easily Frustrated?

One reason your child might become frustrated is that he is unable to successfully complete a task that he is working on. When your child becomes frustrated, he may become emotional, act out, or give up on an activity. If this frequently occurs, your child may limit his participation in activities to those that he can do well.  There are many reasons your child may be unable to complete a specific task, but one reason may be that he is not able to generate another solution to the problem he is having. For example, if your child is building a jigsaw puzzle, but is not successful in putting the pieces together, if he does not try another strategy, he may become frustrated and leave the task, thus missing out on a valuable learning experience. Prior to this happening, it is important that you cue your child to try some problem-solving strategies such as turning the piece, trying the puzzle piece somewhere else, or choosing a different piece to try. Providing these cues rather than simply telling him where the piece goes or putting the piece in for him, will help your child learn to use problem solving strategies rather than continuing to try an unsuccessful action and becoming frustrated.  

Problem solving strategies can be addressed in the moment as they occur, but they can also be intentionally focused on through age-appropriate activities specifically designed to practice problem solving skills. Games such as Rush Hour, Castle Logix and various games by the SmartGames company provide young children with systematic problem-solving tasks that become progressively more challenging. By working through these tasks, your child develops problem solving skills as well as an increased belief in her ability to solve problems. When your child experiences frustration, it’s important to try to help her come up with a solution on her own rather than telling her exactly what to do or doing the task for her. Helping her to solve the problem on her own lets her know that she has this capability and gives her a feeling of accomplishment. For example, if trying to build a block or Lego structure, you can ask questions, such as, “Where do you think this block should go?” or “What other piece could you try there?”

If your child becomes easily frustrated and subsequently has difficulty participating in and fully benefiting from age appropriate social, play, and learning activities, your child may benefit from occupational therapy. An occupational therapist can teach you how to help your child develop the skills he needs to problem solve and to maintain self-regulation. The occupational therapist will also work directly with your child to help him develop these skills and an increased confidence in his ability to work through challenging tasks and to solve problems on his own. When your child feels confident in his ability to solve age-appropriate problems on his own his frustrations will be reduced, and he will be more willing to work through difficult tasks and to try new tasks.